Before I married, I found myself curious about relationships and was eager to aid others in making love work. I constantly kept my eyes and ears open as singles were speaking to determine who would be a good fit for whom. If you were to ask any of my friends they would guarantee I fixed them up on at least a date or two. It was difficult for me to see two people I felt would be a really good match, not connect. I thought I had all the skills necessary to become a world class matchmaker. However, my track record proved to be not that great. One couple married and one couple I?d rather not even discuss. Yeah, it was that bad. The problem was I didn?t stop at the matchmaking. I felt I had to still be involved after the initial connection. Wrong!
Because I am married now I am quite familiar with the energy a relationship requires and the truth is people can?t be rushed into love. In the beginning,?I found myself offering unsolicited advice and pushing people toward places they weren?t ready to go at that time. I was ready to counsel them like they had already committed when they were still in the ?getting to know you? phase. Not saying that everyone I introduced had to get married, but I at least wanted them to build a connection that meant something. Wrong again.
As I think about my current desire to see others happy in love, I think about the other married couples I know and there does appear to be a pattern. We tend to get excited about the idea of helping others acquire the same type of love we?ve obtained. We get all giddy and almost childlike whenever a matchmaking opportunity exists. I guess part of it is that we are happy; I recognize not all married couples are, but for the most part we are creating and maintaining good marriages. We just want others to have that experience. I know the singles would rather we butt out, but when we can share our secrets we do. Although we may still have work to do in our relationships, we definitely feel like we are experts on the matters of love. This is where problems can arise.
What married people have to remember is that we aren?t experts on dating. I can advise on how to be a supportive and loving spouse or how to compromise and stay committed. But I cannot always relate to some of the current challenges singles face when it comes to looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, having been married for almost 14 years. I understand how to build up one relationship, my marriage. Occasionally I might get lucky and create a true match made in heaven. But overall, those of us in the matchmaking business have to be careful. The greatest information we can offer singles is the real deal on the tools needed to build a healthy relationship. Now, if we come across a great single guy for a great single friend, go ahead and introduce, but allow them to find their own way to love.
BMWK, do you feel married people make great matchmakers?
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